Why do young women like older men? What attracts 20-something year old females to 40, 50, even 60-something year old males? The idea of younger women dating older men is a timeless concept. If it is an innate evolutionary tactic for a woman to find the strongest and most confident man who can financially support her, then an older man comes out on top every time. After all, what is more attractive? Is it an eager, younger guy who is selfish in bed and who has nothing but hope to cling to, or an older, wiser, outgoing, more matured man with a great job, who also happens to be experienced and selfless in bed? Younger women like men who can provide emotionally and financially.
So maybe sexual chemistry is related to the size of the man’s wallet, after all, younger women don’t just want a sexually charged older man, but a man who can shower them with birkin, chanel bags and fill her closet with Manolo Blahnik shoes, all kinds of high end fashion accessories and exotic vacations. In fact, there are many younger women who prefer that, and, luckily for them, there are a lot of affluent older men who are more than happy to shower them with the finest things of life. After all consenting adults can date and marry for different reasons.
But at the same time, there are beautiful young women who are dating older men with limited financial means. If, however, the ‘who’ is more important than the ‘what’, then maybe age is just a number and the attraction runs deeper than material possessions. And, in such cases, you are dealing with all the little nuances that make the younger woman dating an older man scenario just like any other relationship. The biggest issue will be the recurring need to explain to others that your relationship is actually based on love and admiration. You will end up dealing with mind-numbing responses like, ‘He is just a father figure to you.’ ‘He is making you miss out on the fun of being in your twenties’. You might say that to a young woman in a relationship with a more matured man. But would you say that to a guy in his twenties who wants to marry his older girlfriend?
Sometimes, older is better. With age comes experience, which is why many younger women will always want to date older men. In fact, the society we live in makes it very easy for men to have very young partners, though the concept of older women getting young husbands is not very common. It is often easier for an older man married to a younger lady to be accepted than for a matured woman with a younger partner.
Below are some of the reasons why young women marry older men.
Love: For some women, age is no barrier in marriage. They marry for love. Some are attracted to older men and don’t mind being their wives. Just like they say, love is blind.
Money: This is top on the list. Most women love the good things of life so they would not mind pitching their tent with a man older than their father. The material success that you can partake of as his wife/mistress is what draws most young ladies. An older man is likely to be established and successful in his career than a younger guy. This gives you the assurance that you can live the good life and afford luxuries. It also means that your life, as a woman, could be more secure and comfortable.
Then again, the economic state of the nation. Many girls want to meet up financially but they don’t want to be seen as ‘Runs girls’, ‘Aristos’ or whatever name we call it so the older and sometimes married man option becomes a lesser evil.
An older man will do anything to get that young single girl. He will spend money without thinking and knowing that there might be no future in that relationship, will give the girl some degree of freedom. Most older men see their younger partners as a trophy, something that boosts his ego and would be more inclined to open his vaults if only to show that he is capable of attracting a young girl. A single young man will do the opposite. By the time he starts splashing cash on you, have it in mind that you have automatically become his property. He expects a lot from the girl and the girl does the same.
Emotional maturity: Most girls have had their fair share of heartbreak from guys and in defence have opted for older men. Some want that fun ride, with no serious commitment, emotions and energy. The more experiences a person has, the more likely he is to be emotionally mature. According to some women, older men don’t get jealous unnecessarily like younger men. They don’t expect their fragile egos to be massaged every now and then.
He has more experience about life: Sometimes, older is better. With age comes experience, which is why many younger women will always want to date older men. A man with longer and wider experiences may make your life much more interesting than it would have been with a younger guy. Not only will he advise you on practical issues and financial matters, he will also open your eyes to the variety of things the world has to offer.
Sexual experience: Older men are more experienced sexually but tend to have less sex drive, but many women find out that lovemaking with an older man is completely fulfilling, as they are better in listening to their needs than a man their own age. Not driven by testosterone often makes older men better, They often view pleasure in a different light and are more concerned with the woman’s pleasure as opposed to their own. Older men with their long years in relationships could be more sexually knowledgeable.
Care. Older men have generally been through more ups and downs in their lives and therefore act more mature than their younger counterparts. They have made, or seen all the mistakes in the dating game and has, hopefully, learned what not to do. At the same time, they know exactly how to treat a woman and respect her feelings. They are more rational and easy to please, plus they allow you more leverage and are sensitive to your feelings.
Responsibility. They tend to be more devoted to their partners and normally do not run around flirting and sleeping with a bunch of women, they already did that in their 20s. They have moved on from the promiscuous phase. Typically, older men are less likely to cheat, but be sure that behaviour is in their past. Just because they are older, doesn’t mean they are saints, it only suggests that they are less likely to cheat.
Comfort: Older men are not as demanding as the younger ones. You would be more comfortable with them and they are not obsessive on irrelevant things. They would not demand for sex on a regular basis. Then again, the hope of getting someone ‘serious’ while having fun and enjoying the goodies from an older lover is a major motivational factor. Most eligible young men are still struggling to find their feet and any serious relationship they get into is part of a planning strategy which will certainly obstruct the free flow of funds, after we all desire the fine things of life.
Father figure: Some call it the ‘Sugar Daddy syndrome,’ others call it the ‘Father was never around’ complex. Most young ladies are looking for the love of a father. It is either their fathers are dead or they didn’t show them love and now they are looking for someone to fill that space. Older men instinctively have paternal instincts and may pamper their partner more than a younger man. He will also take on some sort of authoritative role in your life. Some women seek to find a man that reminds them of their father, whom they loved and admired. On the other hand, women, who lacked a stable male figure while growing up, might still be on the hunt for this leadership role in their lives. At a certain point they will stop looking for a father and start looking for a mate.
There are lots of advantages in dating and in most cases marrying an older man. They are successful, mature, more stable in life, responsible and sexually experienced as well. And more importantly, they are less likely to abuse their younger partners.
For Sonia Okeke (not real names) who is married to a man 20 years her senior, “I am proud of my older husband. I have never been happier. In my life no man wakes me up with flowers, but my older hubby does that consistently for the past three years. If I had known I wouldn’t have wasted time when he asked me to marry him six years ago. I was busy falling for foolish love for a younger guy, fine boy, no money, aiming at sucking me dry. God I thank you that I married my husband. He loves my kids so much, plays with them, helps me change diapers, sometimes I don’t even do anything in the house, he helps me clean, cook and take care of the kids when I am tired. We are talking of a multi-millionaire here. Even with his status, he has time for his family, he listens to me, teaches me things, very patient with my excesses, best of all, he prays for me and the kids every day”, she claimed.
Ariyike Odebami, a 24-year old girl who is dating a 55-year old man has this to say ‘‘Older men pamper their women. When you step out with your partner, all eyes will be on you, women age quickly and with an older partner you can’t be bothered. Infact he will try to keep himself young for you. The days of starting from the scratch are fast fading because most men are not loyal. A wealthy older man is an aphrodisiac.”
Another lady who claimed to be a student said money is not enough for her to date her ‘Papa’ as she put it. According to her, it is greed that makes young ladies date men that are even older than their father. They crave for the good things of life, but don’t want to work for it. How can an undergraduate carry a bag of N700,000 when she knows that her parents can’t afford it. The funniest thing is that these old men would never allow their daughters date/marry a man as old as them.”
What is the greatest part of being with an older man? It is that overall feeling of being in very good hands. They are patient; seasoned in and out of the bedroom, in life, love, spirituality and they appreciate all the great qualities a good woman has to offer. As for famous, influential and wealthy older men, they are a woman’s best bet. That said it has its down sides, when the men cannot meet up in some department due to illness or natural ageing process, their younger lovers more often than not take solace in the exotic lifestyle that your money brings.